Brae. A gay woman's tale!

Well …. Paul from The Village Cars in Saline has been true to his word.   Paul rented the Workshop at the garage but has decided to take over the forecourt that was rented to Sandy Dick.

Paul has done all the welding work and sorted out the rotten floor for nothing for me.  Simply because he does not want to have the bad reputation of Sandy Dick hanging over his head.   He also put her through a new MOT … but even after all the welding work, she failed.   Mostly on minor things, such as windscreen wipers and high beam headlight … but also, more worryingly on the back brakes … when I first got her, I did phone about the brakes as I felt they were a bit slow to react, but was told that she had just been put through an MOT so they must be ok!   Again proving the false MOT certificate I had!

Paul is fixing these problems out and putting her back through an MOT today for me … so at least I know she is roadworthy and safe to drive …. which means I can once more enjoy the freedom of the road!

However, I am not giving up my fight against Sandy Dick to get my money back.  My solicitor has all the information (and knows about the other chap who has exactly the same problem with his Motorhome)… but the first thing my Solicitor is going to do is run a credit check on Sandy Dick … as he told me, that we could go to court and win the case, but whether we would get any money is a different matter… and I could end up paying out thousands of pounds on legal fees to get nothing back at all…. so … It is in his hands now… I will just have to wait and see.

I do want my money back … I paid a lot of money for Alice Alice … and to find out she wasnt worth half of what I paid is a huge blow … but it may be one I have to swallow in the end …  and may require me to “rethink” what I then do … but I will wait to make any decisions on that until my Solicitor advises me whether it is worth chasing Sandy Dick through the courts of not.

Here is hoping I can!

It wasn’t the best news about Duffy (my black cat) from my own vets today (Vetrica) … Bob is not sure the hip is back in place properly … but because he has other injuries (possible fractured knee!) that I didn’t know about from the bloody vets that charged me £1197… it is difficult for Bob to tell … it may mean an operation that will cost me another £500 … I know it is half the price I would have paid at Inglis.

I am pretty annoyed to be honest … but little I can do …  Bob has decided to leave it a week to see if there is any improvement in his leg … Duffy is confined to a cage and on strong painkillers just now … and we can leave it until then to make a decision.

If, whoever has the voodoo doll, doesn’t mind … can you please leave me alone for the rest of the year … thanks.

Replace grace with dog!

I was writing a eulogy earlier for a woman who lived her life serving others.

She was a “people pleaser”, someone who hated to say “No” to anyone, no matter how much they put on her.

Her daughter told me that her mum, spent so much time trying to make others happy that she often forgot to make herself a priority… and spent most of her life trying to please her brothers and sisters who knew exactly how to get her to do what they wanted, while they did very little for her.

When she died, this lady had given away  so much money to her family that her daughter was struggling to find the money for her funeral.   She asked the family, who had taken so much over the years, to help.  Not one of them did.

It is a sad story, she was a woman who was used by others, simply because they knew how to make her feel guilty.

It made me think.   I am a very independent woman, and I think, quite a generous one. But I give because I want to, not because I feel I should.

I am a very open woman, I don’t have secrets, I speak my mind … and not everyone likes that… but to be frank, if they don’t like it, they don’t deserve to be in my  life anyway.

Over the past few months I have had my eyes opened in more than one way.  Weak excuses to cover bad behaviour and to pass the blame to ease their  guilt,  as well as sad situations caused by fears and unhealthy reliance on many things.

I  don’t have time for people like that in my life.  I don’t want people like that in my life… and I will not be reliant on relationships or friendships that are dictated to by “outsiders”.

I have a great wee life (even if 2018 is not proving to be a good year for me!) … but I have had my eyes opened to a lot of things … and I am grateful for that … life is too short to waste emotion, time and money on the wrong people.

Here is to enjoying the real friends in life.

There is good news .. and there is bad news … the good news is that Duffy gets home from the vets today.  He will have to be kept in a cage for around 4 weeks to allow his dislocated hip to heel.  Which has now flung all my plans into complete chaos.

I had planned to go away next weekend for an overnight stay in Perth with friends and to enjoy Perth Pride.   Obviously, Duffy being caged is a huge problem.  I know I have wonderful neighbours who would feed him, but he would be alone for so long, I would just worry about him.

There is also cost to take into consideration.  Although I was quoted between £800 and £900 … the bill is now standing at £1245.17!! … I am horrified, and will have to digger deeper into my savings to pay it.   It’s not that I can’t afford it, I can… but that money was earmarked for the legal battle around Alice Alice.

I definitely have my grumpy wee chicken face on today!

Well that was a weekend and a half! A great Friday night out with friends, the adapter in my car going on fire, meeting a lovely new friend, fun at the Mutt Hutt, Having to rush my cat Duffy to the vets to hosting a picnic for friends!

it had certainly been exhausting

Next weekend it starts again.., Perth Pride and night in a hotel so we can have a wee drink! I had better catch up on my sleep during the week.

Here is to great friendships… I am very lucky!

Duffys hip is badly dislocated… it was pushed up and forward and was the lump that the vet was worried about… full X-ray done and no internal damage!! He is staying in tonight to make sure leg sling stays in place … but I can pick him up tomorrow… he had to be caged for a few weeks though… but I’m happy… it may be a pain paying out all that money but at least my boy is ok!!

As years go, this is certainly one of the toughest I am battling through.

This morning I had a horrible wake up call to the sound of howling from the living room, where I found my beautiful duffy lying in a pool of urine.

It looks like he has had a traumatic force to his side … one of his back legs is twisted and there is a large swelling in his stomach.

I immediately rang the emergency vet but they need to keep him in to xray and assess the damage that has been done to him.  So far the bill is £900.

He is not insured, I don’t insure my cats, but I do have the money to pay for it, but this was money in my savings that I have other plans for (solicitors fees for the ongoing legal battle with my motorhome).

I don’t want to lose my beautiful wee boy … he is very special … but I know I have to be sensible about how much I can afford to pay to keep him alive … and as it stands it may be a decision that is taken out of my hands when they assess the damage to him anyway.  It is the internal damage they are most worried about … but I won’t know until later what is happening.

I am gutted … I have no idea how much more shit this year is going to fling at me … and I really just feel like disappearing.

I am both a warrior and an explorer. I have been broken, I’ve been lost.

I’ve loved deeply, I’ve loved wrongly.

But I still believe that out there there someone I deserve… and who deserves me.